How do you know if someone's truly motivated to change?
Most people say they're open to feedback and change. But do they want to do the hard work involved?
If you're a leader, chances are you've tried to coach or mentor someone who just never seemed to change. Maybe they make commitments and action plans, but don't follow through. Or maybe they always have excuses for why they behave the way they do. Or they make temporary changes that never seem to stick (they soon go right back to old patterns of behavior).
How do you know when to cut your losses and move on? How can you tell if someone's driven to make a sustainable change...or just temporary adjustments to get what they need in the short term (like getting a promotion, impressing others, checking the "HR boxes" or just keeping their job)?
While there's no surefire way to know someone's motivation, you can look for evidence and patterns of behavior that indicate whether they're likely to act on feedback and coaching. For example:
- Have they shown a growth mindset in the past? Are they always learning and changing, or do they wait until someone forces their hand?
- How do they respond when given feedback? Are they thankful and ask more questions to understand, or do they defend and shut down?
- Can they give an example of a time when they've had to make a significant, sustainable change in their life? If they haven't, they've been living pretty comfortably. Probe into their motivation to change and why now is the time.
- As they're learning new habits or behaviors, are they struggling and asking for help? Sustainable change almost always involves struggle and failure.
- Are they humble? Ego gets in the way of self-examination and growth.